JOURNAL 9

Nellie Gotebeski

November 10, 2009

Moral Development

How was I raised in relation to some of the ideas in the readings? How did it possibly influence my moral development? When do I operate primarily from each ethic (what situations trigger each in me (security ethic, engagement ethic, imagination ethic)?

My mother gave natural birth to her five children. I am the youngest child and I believe that my childhood has influenced my moral development. Most of my mother’s parenting skills matched those recommended in the book The Science of Parenting. I was breast-fed and co-slept with my mom until I was ready to sleep alone. Everyday I had warm meaningful touches by multiple caregivers and my basic needs were hardly ever thwarted. As a toddler, I was encouraged to play outside and my imagination was always put in motion by child-led play. I grew up in a small town and therefore, there were not many danger issues that restricted our freedom to explore the neighborhood. I had four older siblings and many cousins which exposed me to multi-age play groups. I was always engaging in rough and tumble play with my brothers and sisters and hugged and kissed by my parents.

One troubling experience in my childhood stands out and has had a tremendous impact on my life. For the majority of my childhood, I had no problem falling asleep, but when I was about twelve years old I could not sleep in my own bed. I had trouble sleeping over at my friend’s houses, because I knew I would be the last one to fall asleep. However, even at this age, my mom kept her door open and understood my pain. She discussed my problem on my level and she did not belittle it. I don’t know what caused me to have this “relapse” into bad sleeping habits; however, I am blessed to have a mother who handled the situation as well as she did. This experience has made my secure-attachment bond with my mother much stronger and it has helped me in other areas of my life. First, I cannot remember the last time I had a difficult time falling asleep and secondly, I believe I am more capable of handling stressful situations. I credit all of these accomplishments to co-sleeping and the secure attachment bond my mother and I formed during my toddler years and again as a teenager.  

I truly believe that this experience has influenced my moral development. My moral sensitivity can reach its full potential, because I am able to handle stressful situations. When some people face a frightening situation, their fear system is triggered and they can no longer concentrate on anything but their fear. These individuals usually take the path of “fight or flight” and do not examine the possibility for moral action. I believe that my childhood rearing has allowed me to avoid overreacting to stressors. This has given me an opportunity to rationally examine the situation and therefore, I am more inclined to notice situations that require moral action.

The security ethic is based primarily in instincts of survival and physical flourishing. It often triggers our fear system and our rage situation. These situations usually result in actions of self-preservation. It can also lead to physical flourishment by status enhancement and in-group loyalty. The security ethic is triggered in situations, which evoke fear or rage. This ethic commonly surfaces after national disasters (as we saw happened after 9/11). For me, this ethic is triggered during sporting events. During field hockey games, we often chant, “Let’s kill them,” and “Only the strong survive.” We justify our actions by saying, “We did it for the team” and assume we are better than our opponents. Even though this mob-like behavior has not led to destructive situations against other teams; in other situations the security ethic can cause devastating consequences. For example, after 9/11, the United States illogically and unmorally entered a war against a “supposed” enemy with weapons of mass destruction. The security ethic was activated and the course of action was war. 

The ethic of engagement involves the emotional systems that drive us towards intimacy. It has roots in our social and sexual instincts, empathy and parental care. This ethic is triggered in any social situation. I believe my warm supportive childhood has led me to flourish socially. The secure attachment with my mother allowed me to feel confident with my personal relationships later in life. The chapters we have read in the book The Science of Parenting have emphasized the role of mothers in their children’s upbringing. However, I am interested in the influences of the father figure. My childhood was dominated by my mother and I wonder what implications this has had. 

Finally, the ethic of imagination is the source of deliberation. This ethic has the potential to combine compassion with active problem solving. This ethic is triggered when we need to deliberate. If we have optimized our engagement ethic and our imagination ethic, it is quite likely that overreactions associated with our security ethic will be minimized. The ability to balance these three ethics is rooted in our early childhood experiences.